Irrational Thoughts of a Pregnant Woman

If there is any guy out there that reads this blog, please skip this post as it contains sensitive material.

First, this is not a woe is me tale. I am LOVING being pregnant. Everyday when Jason gets home, I say, "My belly's getting bigger!" I am sure I will embarrass someone in my family at some point with how proud I am of it.

The catalyst for this post was my need for a new bra, which is when I noticed some hilariously irrational thoughts that I thought y'all would get a laugh out of. I checked out Macy's and Motherhood Maternity (I am not fond of MM) and could not find a bra that fit me well enough to satisfy me. And so it began.

In the dressing room there were thoughts of, maybe this is the only type of bra out there for preggo ladies, maybe I am destined to have one cup that fits and one that doesn't. Seriously, Aby? I am proud to say that I did not settle for the ridiculous bra.

A few days later, I asked Jason to go with me to Mimi Maternity (he was thrilled) because I was intimidated and wondered if all they only had $70 bras. Which brings us to the Summit - a slightly snooty shopping center in Birmingham - home of Mimi Maternity. We went in and as soon as I told the sales associate that I needed a bra, Jason high-tailed it outta there. Classic. Right. You can do it Aby, you own the place.

The associate pulled about 4 bras for me to try on and then started talking about buying a sleep bra. Now ladies, I have nothing against the sleep bra, but as she was telling me about it, all this irrational pregnant woman heard was, "this will help your saggy breasts." Wait. Did she just say I had saggy breasts? Nope. But that's what I heard.

I shook off my irrational thought and took my chances in the dressing room. When I looked at the price tags I had two thoughts, the rational: Oh how thoughtful, she only pulled bras that were on sale. And the irrational: What does she think I am a pauper and cannot afford to buy myself a bra? Oh geez.

I was on my way to check out when when the associate said, "Would you like to check out our panties? They are on sale as well." Does she think I have outgrown my panties too? Who is this woman? Good gracious!

Later, as I was checking out, (the wondrous bra that was totally worth waiting for was on sale for $19, thank you very much.) The same associate says to me, "Would you like any stretch mark cream today." Really?! Now I know you didn't just say that. But she did. I looked at her like gafaw, why in the world would I need stretch mark cream? (Hello, preggers!) Did she think I was already so big that I needed stretch mark cream? Would a normal person ask an overweight person if they needed a scale or diet plan?

This is the first installment of Irrational Thoughts of a Pregnant Woman. I am sure there will be more in the coming months.